Hawkeyes need a win in 2009!!

For one of our Christmas presents this year my hubby and I were given Outback Bowl tickets! We are so excited we can hardly stand ourselves!! The Iowa Hawkeyes hope to slaughter the South Carolina Gamecocks at the bowl game. We are hopeful too!! Kyle grew up in Iowa and has been an Iowa Hawkeye fan for most of his life. I lived in Iowa with him for a few months and have been a fan since we met (never had a favorite college football team). So basically, I've now been a fan of the Hawkeyes for almost six years. Wow. Time really does fly.

So, anyway, I've never been to a college football game. I've been to several Tampa Bay Buccaneer games and several pro baseball games. I've been to races and hockey games. I've seen everything. Well, from what I've heard, I haven't seen nothing yet. I haven't been to a college football game.

Well if yesterday was any indication of what I am in for tomorrow for the New Years Day Outback Bowl in Tampa, Florida, I am really excited to experience it! There have been several events during the past week to pump the teams and fans for the big event. Yesterday was Beach Day in Clearwater Beach. We live about ten minutes from the beach and found it really easy to navigate the crowds and find spots to park. Poor Iowans and South Carolinans who drove all this way to be here. We never thought we'd see so many Iowa fans!! It was incredible! I now know what it feels like to be apart of something so big. It's a comeraderie you don't really get from every other sporting event. We have Iowa Hawkeye gold and black flags flying off the back windows of our truck. We were waved at and honked at like we were in some sort of parade!! Frankly, I couldn't hold back from grinning and waving like a Miss USA Pageant winner. It was so cool!!

So anyway, we are beyond thrilled to be able to see a bowl game together. We also look at it like this will be Brady's first game! He will have been to a bowl game before any regular season games, but there are many Iowa fans who never get the extraordinary opportunity to see a big game in person. Brady is so blessed! I think he's thrilled too! During the marching band and cheerleading shows he was moving all over the place! I think he liked the crowd noise and drumbeats! We will have our boy ready for loud noise way before he is outside the womb!

The Beach Day was such a great event! We saw skydivers and TONS of fellow Iowa fans!! Felt kinda sorry for the Gamecock fans... they were really skimpy on fans comparatively! Supposedly there are already 55,000 tickets sold for the big event tomorrow! It's not quite sold out yet, but they figure it's a great turn out with our slumping economy!! If it wasn't for a very wonderful friend who gave us tickets to this game, we wouldn't be going either. We'd be sitting at a sports bar watching it on ESPN (down to basic cable now...).

Today is New Year's Eve. It's supposedly time for a Leap second. We will have one extra second at the end of this day to catch up to the Earth's clock. Kinda like Leap Year, only it's just a second. What to do with this extra time? I will take the second to just be thankful. Even for just a second longer.

I am thankful the tickets to the game. I am hopeful for what the future holds for 2009. I would like to think that the Hawkeyes will whoop up on the Gamecocks.. if not for anything else, so I can hold it as indication of a great upcoming new year. We will see tomorrow!!

Twas the night before the Lotto drawing...

It's Christmas Eve again. Seems like this time of year gets here faster and faster. I hear that's a symptom of getting older. Hopefully time will slow down once our little one is here. I can't wait for the magic that we will see on his face when Santa's been to our home! I can't wait to tell him stories of "Twas the night before Christmas" and get him to bed early so Santa can come to our house sooner! A great way to get a kid to bed early... can it be Christmas all year long for that reason?

One reason I hope for Christmas Eve's good night sleep is from a prime example I got last night. Brady (his tentative name this month) was a kicking fool last night! It was incredible!! He was so active from my dentist appointment at noon all through the rest of the night. I don't know what crawled up his butt!

I have a feeling that he was moving around during my dental cleaning because he could feel my nerves. I always tense up when the hygienist gets to scraping my teeth! Yowch!! But, she did say for a pregnant woman, my gums weren't too bad at all. I guess I have to be particularly careful about my teeth while I'm pregnant. Bacteria grows like nuts during pregnancy. Must spawn the rumor that says you lose a tooth with every pregnancy.

So last night, while laying in bed watching TV, Mr. Brady Baby decided to toss and turn. I have no idea what he was doing and can see why Tom Cruise got his wife an ultrasound machine when she was pregnant (as crazy as he is)... I just want to know what he's doing in there! I can't even tell the difference between a kick and a punch yet! He was showing off, though, I swear! He was showing off for Daddy. Kyle had his hand on my belly and could feel the "wormies" and thumps here and there. He lit up with joy! It's so cute to see the sparkle in his eyes when he feels the baby move! It was sweet, too, when he said he was jealous I can feel this all the time. I'm sure he won't feel that way when baby gets bigger and starts getting crammed under ribs!

Oh, so now that I've expressed our latest name choice is Brady, I should probably explain why. We wanted a name that would be boyish and manly at the same time. We are thinking Brady, as in Tom Brady, not Brady Bunch. Was worried that would come up while he is in school, but kids his age shouldn't have any idea what the Brady Bunch is. So I figure we are safe with that. He'll probably get called Braidy, as in hair braids.. But we will get him toughened up on that. Brady is an Irish name that means "spirited" and "broad chested". I figured with Kyle's genes he will have a broad chest. We still don't have a middle name in stone yet, but I think we will honor Brady's father and have that be his middle name.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say yet, but we found out last night that our boy will have twin GIRL cousins! I'm thrilled!! I think it's wonderful because one of my favorite cousins is a boy. It will be good for Brady to have more females in his life. Keep him balanced. Kyle said his favorite cousins were girls, so this is just wonderful!! I can't wait to meet them!! Since twins average about a 36 to 37 week delivery date, Brady should only be here 5 or 6 weeks before them!! I'm so excited!!

On this Christmas Eve, I have decided to be as cheerful and full of the holiday spirit as possible. I have been blessed with more than I could have ever have imagined by way of gifts and warm blessings from the people in my life. I feel I can never repay the generosity that has been bestowed on my mini family. I feel so loved and blessed and grateful. And for that reason I can feel the Christmas spirit again. I know one day the magic will be back and that I will be able to Pay it Forward. So that is why on our way to Cuz's house tonight, Kyle and I are going to get a $1 Lotto ticket. Hey, it never hurts to try!

Sixteen Weeks and Counting

Wow... I can not believe that I'm 24 weeks now. Our baby boy is due in 16 weeks. That's just four measly months! I am not ready for him to come any earlier than that, that is for sure! Everyday I feel him kick more and more. I can feel him doing jumping jacks and splits and whatever acrobatics a 6 month old fetus can think to do. It's really amazing and I'm never tired of waiting to feel his next move. His punches and kicks are stronger. I can feel him swirling when he rolls over. I find my baby very fascinating.. which I'm sure just makes me a regular mom.

I can't believe our boy will be here in four tiny months. I just can't believe it. I feel like I've already been pregnant forEVER, but at the same time, not long enough yet. I can't be more than half way through already??? I was starting to get nervous from tales of early babies lately, so I decided to look at the women in my family to see if I can get some reassurance that he will not be a super-early bird.

First, I thought of my own mom. But then I reminded myself that because I was her first born and was breech, she had to schedule Cesarean Sections for all of her babies. I guess more than twenty years ago, doctors figured it was easier to just repeat C Sections for following children than to risk complications with vaginal birth. Yeah, it's because I wanted to sit on my butt in the womb that I have no birthing reference from my mom.

So then I asked my Cuz (Grams) how her births went. Uncle Mike was two weeks late, my mom was a week early (the last time she will ever be early for something), and Uncles Stan and Dan were just about on time. That is reassuring. I feel that if delivery times can be planned from history, I have a safe shot at seeing our son when he's due. Cuz even made the prediction that he would be late. So we'll see.

I have heard that first babies are sometimes late babies. I'm not going to wish myself extra pain or uncomfort, I just want to know he will wait his full 40 weeks then come on time. I need all the time I can get to get ready for him. Cuz says that when he is born it will feel like he was never not here before. It will be so sweet. I will fall in love with him for sure. Not that I'm not already in love with him.

He's my active bugger and I love my private moments with him. When somene is boring me with some story they think I want to hear, I can just smile and know that my little boy is swirling around. He's having a great time listening to sounds and exploring his surroundings. I can smile knowing I know this inside. It's the magic of pregnancy. I can't believe I only have 16 more weeks left to feel this.

Yeah, at this rate, I can totally understand why there are crazy families out there who can't stop themselves from having more and more babies. Especially if they can afford them. 17 kids and counting. Yeah, I can understand them...

My Baby Likes Britney

My baby likes Britney.

I have heard from many people and have read in books that some of the sounds that baby can hear while in the womb can be used to comfort him when he's in the outside world. This is why they recommend that the father talks to the baby and the mom is told to read to her baby out loud. I've read stories where a woman would watch the same soap opera every afternoon. When her baby was born, she would find that as soon as the theme song came on to her favorite show, the baby was pacified and went to sleep.

All of these studies are well and good and I believe that they do have some weight. I just wonder if I'm doing any damage? I have read it's good to talk to the baby, and to laugh.. But I haven't really read that you should boogey down.

You see, I have a bad habit of having my own mini "concerts" in the car whenever I'm driving. I just got a hold of the new Britney Spears cd called "Circus". This is by no means an intellectual compilation full of thoughts and great ideas. This is a Pop album. It's so pop you could call it Bubblegum. But I can't stop listening to it! I love it! I'm addicted. I listen to it on my way to work and on my way home. I can't seem to find anything on the radio (coincidentally) and end up listening to it again, and again. I need therapy.

There is this one particular song that I really like the beat of. I turn it up pretty loud and put on my concert. Hey, at least when I have a Britney Spears concert I'm really singing. She's famous for lip syncing!! So anyway.. I have discovered that baby loves this particular song that I'm digging. It's called "Phonography". Sounds pretty innocent, right? Wrong.

Here are some of the lyrics:

"Let's talk about biology
Make believe you're next to me
Phonography, phonography
Talk that sexy talk to me
Better make sure that the line is green
Keep it confidential, you and me
Phonography, phonography
Dirty talk and call it phonography (Hey!)"

That sounds pretty raunchy, huh? It's definitely not the worst song I've ever sung to our boy... But it has such a great beat to it, it really seem to get him jamming. Especially first thing in the morning on the way to work!! He really gets into it! I can feel him swimming or punching or kicking, or jumping jacks.. Whatever he's doing in there. Kyle compared feeling him to what he imagines a bag of squirming worms would feel like. Ha!! I find that funnny, cuz it really does kind of feel like a soft bag of squiggly worms!

I know I can change the music I'm exposing my fetus to... But I don't want to. Like I said, I'm addicted to the cd. I wonder if I'll have to play the cd for his lullaby music? That would push it too far, wouldn't it? Time for lamo songs like "Mary Had a Little Lamb" or this little lamb won't be sleeping without pulsating beats of "dirty talking phonography"!!

I'm gonna be an Aunt---not an ANT..that's a bug :)

I've been waiting a while to post this and finally I can!! My sister-in-law, my Gemini Twin, is having twins!! I've been preggers now, for... forever. I am the first in my large family of 7 kids to have a baby. In Hubs' family there aren't any new babies from his brothers or sister (his sister is way too young now anyway). We felt like we really were gonna go through this "alone". Now, we know we are not really alone, even if we do live on opposite ends of the country as our family.. We just thought we were the pioneers of the Kids having Kids generation.

Now we know that MY GEMINI TWIN is having twins!! Her hubby, Adam, is Kyle's oldest brother. He's such a good man. I knew he would be a good father when we went golfing with him one lazy afternoon. I am not a golfer. I can play Tiger Woods on Playstation, but I can not golf. He was so great with me! He used positive reinforcement throughout the whole game. I can not drive to save my life, but I found that I'm pretty good at getting the ball out of the sand in one shot. He was sure to praise me when I did that, many times, and well, I got a big head. He was so wonderful. I knew then and there that he would be a great father. He was so patient and kind.

My Gemini Twin, Lori, is no doubt going to be the best mom. She's sweet, caring, and giving... sometimes to a fault. She's sure to sacrifice all she has for her babies. I just know it. Lori is the kind of woman that loves with all of her being. She will give everything until she has nothing at all, to take care of the people she loves. She has a warm spirit about her that will be a true blessing to her two bundles of joy coming in June (possibly Gemini Twins???).

I am so completely thrilled that they are having babies the same time we are!! I am really amazed at how things never go as planned and that when they don't, they are usually better. Our boy will have cousins!! His age!!

Our son is due in the middle of April. The twins are due in June. I have heard from many people that twins are usually born early. I would be so shocked and amazed if our kids were born right near each other! Lori is only 8 weeks behind me at this point!!

This is a blessing in our lives. Despite the drama of day-to-day life and recessions and economic turbulence, there is a glimmer of hope. A ray of great light. Our generation is forming a new generation!! It's so great and I'm so blessed to be apart of this upcoming family!! I can't wait to see what 2009 will bring!!

Bahumbug 'Til Baby

I'm really, really trying to get into the Christmas spirit. I'm trying really hard. Hubs brought down the fake tree from our attic. I really wanted a real tree this year, but we figured the money wasn't really worth it since there might not be anybody here to enjoy it. So the tree is up, in all its 5 foot glory. Silver and Blue ornaments to make it look like a Dallas Cowboy tree when we are Tampa Bay Buccaneer fans. It's just marvelous.

We were thinking of stringing icicle lights around the outside of our house too. But 2 out of 3 strands were not working. So we had to chuck that idea. Now we just have lame garland around our front porch railing and a wimpy wreath by our front windows. Can you tell I'm just not feeling this?

I've tried so hard to kick the bahumbug attitude. We've gone to the Tampa mall to feel the Christmas spirit. It's so pretty there. Santa looks great. It' s a lot of fun to watch people with their families waiting in line for pictures on the Big Red Man's lap. But that fun was short-lived. We traveled a bit more and went to the new Shops at Wiregrass in Wesley Chapel. They are such nice shops. An outdoor mall to die for. Very beautiful and new. They have their very own Dr. Suess type of tree. It's large and glorious. That feeling of Christmas was a short hour feeling.

We've walked around our Botanical Gardens and have seen their pretty lights. They were so pretty and free. That was fun. We even went to our local city park. Their lights were pretty too, and it was sweet to watch the families walk together. We went to the Pinellas Park Christmas parade. Had Five Guys Burgers and Fries for dinner. That was fun. But the spirit of Christmas isn't staying with me. It seems to be fleeting. Really discouraging. I used to love Christmas.

Shucks. Family won't be here for Xmas again this year. Starting to feel really alone. Such a bummer. I know I have Cuz a couple of hours north of where we live and we could go see her. I am just starting to feel that maybe the best thing to do is skip Christmas. Go see the opening of "Marley and Me", a movie about a young couple and their Lab. Should be a cute movie. Maybe the cuteness of the flick will put me in a good mood.

So this year, I think I will skip Christmas. Might head over to Orlando for an afternoon while I am on vacation and just walk around Downtown Disney. I've never done that before. Maybe the novelty of something different to do will take the sting out of such a lackluster holiday season.

Next year will be different. Our son will be here and he will be happy if we just give him wrapping paper and an empty box. The Magic of Christmas will be back. I can't wait for that.

Braxton Hicks and Stretchmarks

This morning I woke up to some very uncomfortable pulling at the top of my uterus. It felt like tightening and clenching. Right now, the top of the uterus is almost 2 inches above my belly button. My last check up on Friday of last week shows that it is measuring at 24 weeks. That is good, cuz our son is supposedly 23 weeks this weekend. I felt very icky with those feelings this morning and considered staying home in bed. But the feeling passed and luckily nothing further followed those feelings. I thought maybe it was "practice contractions" called Braxton Hicks, but maybe I am wrong. According to some sites, I should feel that lower in my abdomen. The feeling I had was a clenching tightness at the top of the uterus. So maybe that was just the baby respositioning itself or my body making more room for this 11 inch one pounder. I have been noticing that my belly has been feeling tight and sometimes painful to the touch above my belly button. Probably more growing pains.

"Braxton Hicks contractions are sporadic uterine contractions that start about 6 weeks into your pregnancy, although you won't be able to feel them that early. You probably won't start to notice them until sometime after mid-pregnancy, if you notice them at all. (Some women don't.) They get their name from John Braxton Hicks, an English doctor who first described them in 1872."--www.babycenter.com

I am pleased to announce I haven't seen a stretch mark yet. I am really hopeful that this stays consistent because I know that I am capable of receiving them. I have them all around the backs of my thighs from a growth spurt at puberty. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can stay at a steady weight gain to prevent the stretchmarks. But, if I do have to have them, it will be worth it. I won't complain.. too much.

Hope for the weary?

So last night I called our mortgage holder to talk about what options are out there if/when Hubs gets laid off. He's been waiting for the hatchet now for about a month. The stress that comes with waiting is really overwhelming. We don't take it out on each other, but I can feel that I don't breathe as easily as usual. I find I take shorter breaths. It could be pregnancy related, but I think it's also stress related. And no amount of stress is good for the baby.

Either way, I called the mortgage company. I realized that I had an excess in our escrow account. Our property taxes and homeowners insurance have already been paid. I first asked if any of that cash can be applied to a next month's mortgage payment. Anything we can get would really help. So the nice lady on the other line said that they can't do that. They will reevaluate our taxes and insurance for next year and our mortgage will adjust. Then they will mail us a check for whatever funds we have in excess in our escrow account. Yay! A check.. But not for too much, and we have to wait. They will hold our extra money hostage.

So then I asked about what we can do to protect our credit when/if Hubs gets laid off. The nice lady referred me to their loan department as that is not her expertise. I get transferred to the loan department. Another very nice lady listened as I explained my situation. Hubs is about to be laid off. We don't know how we are going to keep paying our mortgage on time if/when he does. Sales have been really really slow and we barely have the money just to keep our payments current. We have outstanding credit and have never had a late payment. I know from browsing news forums that one late mortgage payment can reduce your credit score by 100 points. I know that our credit is worth more than gold. It's nice to know we never have to hold our breath when we are waiting for an approval on something we want. Well, I informed Nice Lady #2 that I am very interested in protecting our credit. She told me that there is nothing they can do for us until we are 60 to 90 days behind. I was incredulous, "you mean to tell me that there is nothing you can do to help us figure something out until AFTER we've hurt our credit??" She agreed that it sounded ridiculous but it was true.

I guess there is nothing they can do until you actually are defaulting. Then they can send us to a loan repayment department or loss mitigation. And even after we get to those departments there is no promise they can actually help us.

So, for giggles, I decided to ask her about refinancing. I asked her if it was necessary to actually have equity in your home before you can refinance. I knew her answer would be yes, but I figured there was no harm in asking. So she confirmed, "yes, you do need equity to refinance". I said, "I live in Florida... My house is worth LESS than we paid for it two years ago". She apologized but said she hoped the next few months would be better. There is nothing they can do. We are underwater. And that is that.

So there is nothing that can be done for people with good credit who want to do the right thing. There is nothing a bank can/will do for you until you are already showing a bad payment history. It's so frustrating. I did hear of a glimmer of hope on our horizon.. so I thought. The interest rates are rumored to drop to a record low of 4.5%. That was exciting! Maybe I can refinance then?? Nope. It's only for new purchases.

I talked to my mom about this and she reassured me that when interest rates go down, house sales go up. The more that is purchased, the more there will be a demand on homes and their prices should start to climb back up. Let's hope her ray of sunshine holds some truth.

Anyway, I just wanted to gripe about our situation. If not for a pity party, then to at least show our son how tough times were when he was just a teeny fetus. This could be my little scrap book of newspaper clippings...


"TAMPA - The Tampa Bay area experienced its steepest home price slump in recent memory in January, while the number of home sales continued to drop. Sales activity in the area stands in stark contrast to national data that showed sales of existing homes rose by the largest number in two years.

"The housing market in Tampa doesn't look good at all," said Per Gunnar Berglund, senior economist for Moody's Economy.com. "This is the sharpest drop in pricing since the early 1990s."'

Give the Pregnant Lady some room!

Growing to the size of a whale apparently means your brain shrinks. I did read in a few books that a pregnant woman's brain does shrink temporarily. It's not the thinking parts, so put those jokes aside, but it does reduce in size by 3% I think? Maybe more people know this statistic than I thought... So anyway, back to my new realization...

I went shopping yesterday for some new tops. With my ever-growing belly, I have been finding my regular clothes are getting too tight. Buttons look like they will bulge out and pop at any second. So, it was beyond time to invest in a few good work shirts. I went into a very popular mall maternity store. I won't name names, but it starts with Mother and ends with Hood. I've been there a couple of times. I like some of their clothes and would like to go there more often.. but I always get the feeling they think that since I've gotten pregnant, that I have no idea how to shop for myself anymore. Apparently to maternity clothing stores, if you are growing a baby brain in your belly, you must not be able to use your own in your noggin.

I have already figured out that once you get the idea that your pre pregnancy size is what you are in maternity clothing, it's just a matter of figuring out which fit you like and what cuts flatter your round bump as much as possible. That's the only problem I really had. I have found scoop necked shirts make me look like a huge marshmallow and do not flatter me at all. I did find a couple of cute button-up shirts that look good.. But that is beside the point.

Here's where things get annoying... As soon as I walked into the store, I am greeted by an extremely friendly and boisterous, "hi!!! Welcome to Motherhood!".. Oh gosh, this is going to be an irritating visit. So I thanked her for the great greeting and tried to proceed about my business. I just want to look at some shirts and maybe a pair of jeans. Right away, after I thought I made my avoidance of her stares clear, she says, "can I help you find anything?" I know that this is typical of any store. So I thank her for asking, but that I'm just browsing.

I start to thumb through the racks. I have a $50 gift card that I planned to spend, as money has been very tight lately with our latest news of a national recession. Tee shirts are $19.99... for a cotton tee-shirt. Ix-Nay on that! So I move on to the fancier "SALE" and "clearance" items in the back. I figured I could get some basic tops that could be worked around. Reaching above my head to look at the shirts they had on sale was really starting to wind me. I don't know why they make shopping so difficult. There were some pretty loud prints on sale. I could see why they didn't sell when they were new arrivals. But, I wanted to give them a fair shot. So I tried them on.

This is where I am greeted by Puffy the Gigantic Whale in the mirror. The scooped neck shirts did nothing to flatter my round belly. I just looked larger with broad shoulders. It was not pretty. I tried a few more shirts with the same cut. I was hopeful. I thought maybe they were all cut different based on pattern. Nope. I went from Puffy the Whale to Ginormo the Clown. Keep in mind, I was asked again by two different saleswomen if I was "doing okay, anything I can help you find???" I really have no idea how many times I can say that I'm just looking. If they bring me the clothes or I find them myself, there is no other way to find out how I feel about the items until I try them on.

Aggravated, I gave up on the gleaming sale and clearance items and moved on to the jeans. I've gotta give it to them, Motherhood does have really great stretchy "secret fit" pants. I have two pairs of work pants that I wished they made in regular sizes too! Who wouldn't want to feel like they were wearing comfy sweatpants at work all day? It's like fun on top and business on the bottom! Like a mullet... I love them. I thought I would be successful with their jeans. But I was not. They cut off below my hips with their "fun on the top". It feels like they are constantly falling down. And there are no belt loops to hold them up.. And I found that if I hiked them up to a comfortable spot, I looked like I was wearing clam diggers. Not cute. And what is up with their style? They are stiff pants.. Not very comfy. Comfort seems to be the key word for me lately. And they did not have it.

So, what to do, what to do. I finally settled on getting a white cardigan that top off tee-shirts , and two dressy tops for work. One was the button-up and one was a V-neck. No scoops for me. I brought the three items to the register and the saleslady decided she needed to know why I was not getting jeans. Ugh. So I tell her. They aren't comfortable to me. Too short. Why she had to know, I wasn't sure. Maybe she made them.

Now, don't get me wrong, Motherhood is a very good store. I do like their clothing, for the most part. I just feel that maybe they are trying too hard. Pregnancy is definitely a money-machine.. Just like weddings and new babies. It seems they prey on the fact that you really must not have any idea what you are doing. If you don't have a the right top, bra, pants, you are just not going to do this whole pregnancy right. Same with weddings. If you don't have party favors, what will your guests think? Will they always remember that you were the couple that were too cheap to give them a candle??

I've been to Pea in a Pod (designer duds for the bulging belly) and was offered bottled water there. Gosh. I seem to always get greeted in a baby voice, too. I guess saleswomen in maternity clothing stores think that being pregnant will not allow me to register lower pitches. I can't see myself spending hundreds of dollars on designer Seven maternity jeans that I will only wear a few months. Even if I decided to save them for my second baby, how will I be guaranteed they won't be out of style?

So this is why I find maternity clothing shopping so annoying. If they could just leave me alone and believe that I did know how to shop before I was pregnant. I haven't forgotten how to try on clothes, and look through racks. It's a skill I've been working on for years. I can still do it!! I can still shop on my own.. So please, allow the big pregnant lady a little more room.

How did our parents do it???

Embarking on mommyhood is very exciting to me. I am thrilled to be carrying my son right now and can't wait to meet him. I just worry about the stress I have also been carrying lately. Living in Florida after the housing bubble burst has been really been hard on our family. We bought our house two years ago with the intention of selling within two or three years. It was going to be our starter home. Housing prices were pretty much guaranteed to go up a few percent each year. We were going to take whatever equity we gained in a couple of years, sell the house, and use it as downpayment for a better house.

Well, the bubble popped and our house is worth thousands less than we paid for it. We have a loan that was not intended to be a longterm loan. Interest only for ten years was going to be okay if we were just going to stay in our house a couple of years. Now that there is no end in sight to our housing dilemna, we will have nothing paid toward our principal. It's basically like we are paying really high rent right now. This was not our plan.

We have an empty rental property on our left that has been empty for months now. I'm not complaining, as the management company does not seem to put desirable neighbors in there. The house on our right was built just a couple of years ago. It was originally purchased for $205K the same year we bought our house. Now the house is empty and is selling for $129K or less, depending on what offers come in. So that will kill any chance of our house ever increasing in value again.

We are in a rock and a hard place. Big time. Hubs has been struggling with his job due to the poor economy. People are not in the position to buy right now. No one is moving into new houses and if they are, they don't have extra income to purchase what he's selling. It really feels like a recession nowadays. I don't know how we'll get through this.

I know people have gone through worse times and managed okay. We will be okay, in the end. I know we will. I just wonder how we will get there. And until we get there, I just sit back, bewildered at how our parents ever did it. My mom and dad had three kids by the time they were my age. I'm almost thirty and we're having our first baby.

How the heck are we gonna do this? How the heck did our parents do it? Keeping my chin up as best I can. Hopefully we will find out, and it won't be as bad as I worry.

A Boy by any other name

We've been playing around with just a couple of names so far for our little boy. There just haven't been any names that completely pop out at us. No names that scream "THIS IS IT". Yet. I have patience. I have a feeling that we will get the name. Like most people say, it will come to us. Even if we have a name picked out, once they lay that little man on my belly for the first time, his "real" name will come to me. I just hope it's not Rufus.

A name that I tend to lean toward lately is Casey. It originally was a boy name and the girls have started to take it over. That burns me. I do hear that a lot of girls spell their name with a K and that is how they make it different. I used to like boy names for girls. Now it annoys me. I'm worried that I will name my boy a "girl" name and he will have to deal with that trauma his whole life. I like the name Casey. It's Irish/Gaelic for "brave". It originates from a male name. Stinkin' girls took the name. I like it a lot. It's not a super popular name like Josh, Jake, John, Michael. I think it's cute, and it flows well with our last name. Famous actor Ben Affleck has a brother named Casey. There's the ever famous "Casey at the bat". Who can forget Casey Kasem on their Top 40 countdown Sunday mornings? I even have a nickname for him already, "Casey Bea". Say it with me, now... case of beer! haha! Yeah, I crack myself up.

Other than that, we have been leaning toward giving Hubs his very own Junior. I've been hearing it's the ultimate compliment to a guy. I've always thought a Junior might cause a boy to feel he has to live up to his father. I think it's very important for a boy to create his own identity. But if he has a "girl" name, how will that help him? Ugh. This is very complicated and very intimidating. I do feel the pressure of giving the boy a name he can be proud of.

I do like how my parents named me and my brother and sister. They picked names that can be formal if needed and playful with a nickname. I guess it doesn't really matter what we name our baby formally since nicknames really do come out of nowhere. We have a lab named Riley and we call him Boobies.. So it really makes no difference what our intentions are with a name... we'll call him whatever embarrassing name that rolls off our tongue!

So, as far as names go, we are still playing. I can't seem to shake the image of a "J" first name. I want a unique name, but not so unique like "Apple" or "Suri". I want a name that not everyone is thinking of lately. I want it to be a strong name, but not so adult he has to grow into it. I don't know why I have a feeling the baby will have a name with the first initial "J". I guess we will see. Until then, I've found websites that feed my addiction to play with names to see how they fit with our last name (www.babynamegenie.com is one example).

Our baby boy, HE, will just have to get used to being called "He". Until we find a name we both love. Or until parents stop naming their girls with boy names, just to make this difficult on us... Probably not going to happen, so we'll see where this naming business takes us!

No longer Green with envy of other nurseries...

So after a debate on whether the darker green was too overwhelming, Hubs and I decided that the best thing to do would be to work with it. So we did. I had about a 1/4 gallon of paint left and bought a quart of plain white paint. Both were in the eggshell finish for easy clean up and not so bright and glowy to blind someone on a sunny day. I mixed the two together to get a lighter version of our bright green color.

Saturday afternoon I put Hubs to work with measuring one foot sections throughout the room. I prayed the light stripes would not fall on intricate sections of the room and luckily it only did in a few spots, like light switches and door frames. I taped the penciled lines that Hubs drew in each 12 inch section. I made sure to "X" off the green sections so I wouldn't mess up while painting.

Sunday morning I set off to work on the actual painting. Was so excited to see it come together!! It took me about three or four hours to get it completely painted and untaped. I have to say I'm pretty excited about how the room came out! Can't say we are completely finished, but at least the hard part is done!! Our baby boy will see it in a little over four months! I can't believe how fast this is going!

Fleeting thoughts

Now, before judgment is passed on me, please remember this is purely hypothetical. I am not a scientist or a theorist. I do not have any facts to back myself up and haven't researched any of the unusual thoughts I have in my head. I just merely want to put them down "on paper" so my son can laugh at me in the future. If that's all that I get out of this, I'm really fine with it. Moms turn from all-knowing, to completely dumb in just 18 years... So I'm prepared.

Some mornings I lay in bed and think about the little boy that is growing in my belly. I know that stresses and anxiety can affect him, so I try my best to avoid situations that would make my heart race. I know that when I laugh, he seems to move more. I know that my disposition can really affect how he will be outside of the womb. Or is that all theory too? Not really sure. This is all really new to me. I'm trying my best to just enjoy the ride. I'm not trying to wish away my pregnancy. I want to enjoy it. I want to be surprised and confused and astonished by the life that is growing inside.

Anyway, this all leads me to wonder if my baby can feel other feelings I may have in the course of a day. For instance, when I have a dream, I can be stressed or happy. Can he feel those emotions? I can't control my subconscious. Last night I dreamed I was waitressing and my section was slammed. I could not keep up with the customers. I was really disheveled and my food was never coming up in the window so I could deliver it. I couldn't get orders right. Can my teeny one pound spermy maker feel that anxiety?

Then I got to thinking about how I, as a future mom, might be preconditioning my baby now, in the womb? I know that being pregnant puts a lot of pressure on my bladder. I do pee a whole lot more than I used to. I try not to drink too many liquids before bedtime to reduce getting up in the middle of the night. Well, I got to thinking about how that might stimulate a baby to wake up more in the middle of the night if I keep getting up to pee. I wonder if that is possible? So now, I find myself stupidly crossing my legs in bed trying to hold it. Probably that strain alone wakes the baby anyway, if he is asleep. So it's not really a win-win situation, is it? Hmmm.

One more really strange thought that I have been having lately that will probably be laughed at when he reads this. I get songs in my head a lot. I like to think of them and replay them a lot. I can hear it perfectly in my mind's ear. I know my baby boy has a brain now. I wonder if he can feel my mental rhythm? I know I am calmer when I think of music in my head. I wonder if it calms him too? Even if I can't actually physically hear it? Can he sense the calm I might have from a particular song in my head? Can he feel a beat?

I know, I should just stop now, while I'm ahead.

A kick in the gut never felt so good!

It was just barely six o'clock in the morning.

I had to wake up to get ready for work in just a half hour or so. I laid in bed, on my side, as usual, since I've heard it can be dangerous to sleep on my back and have avoided it as much as humanly possible (and boy, do my hips ache at night!!). Suddenly, I started to feel a rumbling in my stomach. Unlike any rumbling I've felt before. I was sure it was gonna produce the loudest trumpet fart ever recorded in any Guiness Book. I was happy I would have payback for Hub's "Bear Song" that kept me awake again last night.

Then, nothing happened. I felt the rumbling again. Like a wave of bubbles swirling around (picture the surf on the sand by the ocean). I was sure this was gonna produce something satisfying by way of major noise. Nope. Nothing. I put my hand on the lower side of my stomach and pressed. The rolling bubbles happened again.. Then I felt it: a ***THUMP*** on my hand. An actual ***THUMP***. I have been feeling the baby move internally for a while now. Feels more like someone is grasping around on my organs. I hadn't felt anything externally til this morning!! I was so excited!! I just couldn't believe it was actually happening!! Almost 21 weeks and it's really happening! This little boy is really real!! I've known he is real, it just hasn't really sunk in. I've just been getting a belly... and lots beer can do the same thing.

So I pushed and prodded on my belly to get the baby to move again. It was intoxicating! Usually when I poke and prod nothing happens. Now I can feel him respond to my hand!! It's so wonderful!! It's just so amazing to me that just a few hours earlier last night I could feel nothing. Then just overnight, I wake up, and there is a human in my belly that can kick and punch and swirl! And I can actually feel him!!

I delayed going to wake up Hubs to have him feel it, cuz I was afraid if I moved from my spot that baby would stop moving. So I soaked it up for a good thirty minutes and decided it would be fair to share. But of course, baby was done with his aerobics for the morning. Oh well, maybe next time.

What the heck is that?

After a fitful night's toss and turn on the futon (Hubs likes to snore and I can't sleep during his "Bear song"), I woke up to find that my belly button has grown a little head. Not a pretty little baby head (if it existed)... a Pimple-like head. Gross. I am 20 weeks pregnant now and had a piercing in my belly button for ten years. I did remove the piercing months ago, so I am beyond shocked at what I have discovered. It's not pretty.

I blame a lot of strange things happening to my body on pregnancy. This is going to be my first baby. I am really excited about creating a life. It's thrilling to me. I'm actually okay with getting bigger. I am okay with stretch marks and swollen feet--I know it's for a good cause.

Here is my list of things I am NOT okay with:

Pimples on my face in places I haven't seen since puberty: cheek, chin, nose, in my nose, forehead (I thought your skin was supposed to glow during pregnancy, not radiate like Rudolph's nose!)

Flaking chin skin--> I feel more like a snake shedding a layer and it doesn't quit. No amount of moisturizer seems to help.. just makes me break out with a layer of peeling on top of it.

Constipation--> no amount of fiber seems to make this less of an irritant! I already told Hubs that when I deliver and the fabled "poop on the table" comes, I will shout with joy! I will be so happy and proud.. Not embarrassed. Ten months of nothing will be so relieving, even if it is accidental!

Peeing... all of the time... even when it's been a while since I've had something to drink. I can manage to pee at the drop of a hat. It seems to be my new favorite pastime! That gets really annoying.

Blurring vision and red eyes. Now when I'm stumbling into things like a blind lady, I also get to look like I've wept for days on end. Seems Visine can't even fix this issue. Looks like the contacts will be rested and I will have to get used to my glasses. Peripheral vision will be forfeited so I can see straight ahead again.

Oh, and how can I forget this pimple thing on top of my belly button??? I already cleaned out the button area (it's amazing how much lint can accumulate in there if you forget about it). I'm actually a pretty clean person, belly buttons just get neglected I think. But this thing that has developed? I'm really not okay with that. Will have to get some Bactine today after work. See if I can tackle this icky issue.

There are probably a hundred other things I could think of that I am NOT okay with.. Give me time. I've still got 4 1/2 more months to learn them as I go!!

Now don't get me wrong. I would have a face full of pimples and belly button heads the size of apples if it means that I get to see my baby boy. He's going to be my light and shining star. I just know I will love him more than anything else in my life. This I am certain. So for that reason I am merely complaining to complain.

Cuz I'm pregnant and what-eva, I do what I want!

My baby, not yours, and I'm NOT sharing

This is a blog I posted a few weeks back. Wanted to share:

This is my first baby, not your second chance

So far, I have noticed a plethora of rather annoying traits that come out from people when I they learn that I am pregnant. It seems that my growing belly gives people the impression that all manners are out of the window…

I barely have a belly yet, and you have an urge to touch it? For what, the extra five to ten pounds that have accumulated in four and half months? There's no baby kicking yet, you won't feel anything. You never touched me before I was pregnant, how is it okay to do now?

Leave me alone about my caffeine consumption. I have read in MANY books and forums that a safe amount of caffeine is anywhere from 150 mg to 300 mg. If I have ONE Diet Pepsi, I am not harming my baby. It has 35 mg of caffeine in it! By the lower range of safe, I could technically have almost five cans of the stuff!! Back off! It's not like I'm downing a Bud Light.

To breastfeed or not to breastfeed: This is my personal decision. I will learn as much as I can about both options and choose the one that works best for me and my family. This is not time to judge me for not choosing the "right" way to do things. What works for you works for you. I will find out what works best for me.

I want to find out the gender of my baby. Please don't look at me like I grew two heads. You can do what you wish when you are pregnant with your own baby. Please don't say I'm losing my chance at one of God's only real surprises. Wasn't a positive pee test a surprise enough? It's not like I'm choosing the gender. I'm just peeking at what God already gave me.

Okay, enough venting for now… Thank you kindly.