Give the Pregnant Lady some room!

Growing to the size of a whale apparently means your brain shrinks. I did read in a few books that a pregnant woman's brain does shrink temporarily. It's not the thinking parts, so put those jokes aside, but it does reduce in size by 3% I think? Maybe more people know this statistic than I thought... So anyway, back to my new realization...

I went shopping yesterday for some new tops. With my ever-growing belly, I have been finding my regular clothes are getting too tight. Buttons look like they will bulge out and pop at any second. So, it was beyond time to invest in a few good work shirts. I went into a very popular mall maternity store. I won't name names, but it starts with Mother and ends with Hood. I've been there a couple of times. I like some of their clothes and would like to go there more often.. but I always get the feeling they think that since I've gotten pregnant, that I have no idea how to shop for myself anymore. Apparently to maternity clothing stores, if you are growing a baby brain in your belly, you must not be able to use your own in your noggin.

I have already figured out that once you get the idea that your pre pregnancy size is what you are in maternity clothing, it's just a matter of figuring out which fit you like and what cuts flatter your round bump as much as possible. That's the only problem I really had. I have found scoop necked shirts make me look like a huge marshmallow and do not flatter me at all. I did find a couple of cute button-up shirts that look good.. But that is beside the point.

Here's where things get annoying... As soon as I walked into the store, I am greeted by an extremely friendly and boisterous, "hi!!! Welcome to Motherhood!".. Oh gosh, this is going to be an irritating visit. So I thanked her for the great greeting and tried to proceed about my business. I just want to look at some shirts and maybe a pair of jeans. Right away, after I thought I made my avoidance of her stares clear, she says, "can I help you find anything?" I know that this is typical of any store. So I thank her for asking, but that I'm just browsing.

I start to thumb through the racks. I have a $50 gift card that I planned to spend, as money has been very tight lately with our latest news of a national recession. Tee shirts are $19.99... for a cotton tee-shirt. Ix-Nay on that! So I move on to the fancier "SALE" and "clearance" items in the back. I figured I could get some basic tops that could be worked around. Reaching above my head to look at the shirts they had on sale was really starting to wind me. I don't know why they make shopping so difficult. There were some pretty loud prints on sale. I could see why they didn't sell when they were new arrivals. But, I wanted to give them a fair shot. So I tried them on.

This is where I am greeted by Puffy the Gigantic Whale in the mirror. The scooped neck shirts did nothing to flatter my round belly. I just looked larger with broad shoulders. It was not pretty. I tried a few more shirts with the same cut. I was hopeful. I thought maybe they were all cut different based on pattern. Nope. I went from Puffy the Whale to Ginormo the Clown. Keep in mind, I was asked again by two different saleswomen if I was "doing okay, anything I can help you find???" I really have no idea how many times I can say that I'm just looking. If they bring me the clothes or I find them myself, there is no other way to find out how I feel about the items until I try them on.

Aggravated, I gave up on the gleaming sale and clearance items and moved on to the jeans. I've gotta give it to them, Motherhood does have really great stretchy "secret fit" pants. I have two pairs of work pants that I wished they made in regular sizes too! Who wouldn't want to feel like they were wearing comfy sweatpants at work all day? It's like fun on top and business on the bottom! Like a mullet... I love them. I thought I would be successful with their jeans. But I was not. They cut off below my hips with their "fun on the top". It feels like they are constantly falling down. And there are no belt loops to hold them up.. And I found that if I hiked them up to a comfortable spot, I looked like I was wearing clam diggers. Not cute. And what is up with their style? They are stiff pants.. Not very comfy. Comfort seems to be the key word for me lately. And they did not have it.

So, what to do, what to do. I finally settled on getting a white cardigan that top off tee-shirts , and two dressy tops for work. One was the button-up and one was a V-neck. No scoops for me. I brought the three items to the register and the saleslady decided she needed to know why I was not getting jeans. Ugh. So I tell her. They aren't comfortable to me. Too short. Why she had to know, I wasn't sure. Maybe she made them.

Now, don't get me wrong, Motherhood is a very good store. I do like their clothing, for the most part. I just feel that maybe they are trying too hard. Pregnancy is definitely a money-machine.. Just like weddings and new babies. It seems they prey on the fact that you really must not have any idea what you are doing. If you don't have a the right top, bra, pants, you are just not going to do this whole pregnancy right. Same with weddings. If you don't have party favors, what will your guests think? Will they always remember that you were the couple that were too cheap to give them a candle??

I've been to Pea in a Pod (designer duds for the bulging belly) and was offered bottled water there. Gosh. I seem to always get greeted in a baby voice, too. I guess saleswomen in maternity clothing stores think that being pregnant will not allow me to register lower pitches. I can't see myself spending hundreds of dollars on designer Seven maternity jeans that I will only wear a few months. Even if I decided to save them for my second baby, how will I be guaranteed they won't be out of style?

So this is why I find maternity clothing shopping so annoying. If they could just leave me alone and believe that I did know how to shop before I was pregnant. I haven't forgotten how to try on clothes, and look through racks. It's a skill I've been working on for years. I can still do it!! I can still shop on my own.. So please, allow the big pregnant lady a little more room.