Unscheduled Delivery

Based on emails I receive weekly from a plethora of baby-making sites, Brady is getting locked-and-loaded, and ready to come into the world. I think I am ready for him to arrive. Part of me is ready to see my feet again and to feel like myself again. Another part of me is kind of afraid of what it will be like to not carry a baby. He's been a part of me for so long now. While I have been counting down the whole duration of my pregnancy, I think a part of me was in denial the day would actually come.

Brady is a full-term baby now. He can survive outside the womb anytime he decides to join us in the breathing world. It still baffles me that he went from the size of a needle tip to a full fledged little human. He will go from breathing liquid to inhaling air, only to never be able to breathe liquid again. It amazes me. I know I should know all of this stuff from Biology class, but it never really sinks in until it happens to you. Kinda like how our parents wanted to bestow their hard earned knowledge of life on us, only to have us make our own mistakes and learn on our own. I just won't believe anything until I see it for myself.

People ask me if I'm ready for the baby. Then they mention that I look like I'm going to pop. Yup, I used to say that to pregnant women too. It's really gross to think that people see me and think of me exploding. It really eeks me out. There are some times where I really feel like I will pop, though.. My skin feels so tight and I tell myself that it's okay, I can't possibly grow anymore. Then I do. I am due for a weigh in on Friday. I'm sure if I haven't reached 200 yet, that I will soon. I just really wanted to stay below the Deuce plus club. Oh well. I've only gained about 40 pounds so far. I guess I am okay with that. As long as it brings me a healthy baby, I'll gain three hundred pounds for him if I have to.

I think that we are ready for Brady, by way of actual things. I think. We still don't have any bottles or pacifiers. We don't have a lot of play time things. We don't have a high chair or even a diaper bag. But then I tell myself that a lot of those things won't really be needed for a while. He won't be able to do more than eat, pee, poop and sleep for a while. He won't need toys or a highchair for a little bit. So, I think that since we have clothes for him and a place to lay his sweet head, we have what we basically need. Right? Yeah, I'm probably wrong. I've learned that a lot with this pregnancy. Just when I think I know what I'm talking about, I'm proven just how clueless I am. I don't know why I even try to fake it.

I wonder how I will do when it comes time for delivery. I'm really in denial about how that will happen. I haven't taken any classes. I watch a lot of "Baby Story" on TLC. I basically believe that I just gotta go with the flow on this. I don't know what to expect and I have to remind myself that people have been giving birth for thousands of years. It's a relatively simple procedure for hospitals nowadays. I tell myself that it will all be a blur to me. I will go through the motions and then it will be over and done with. I figure that is why there is really no need to stress about the "what ifs". Although, being a natural born worrywart, I really doubt my abilities to not freak out. I find myself doubting that we even saw all ten fingers and toes on the last ultrasound we had almost 20 weeks ago. I keep worrying that maybe they missed something. But, I know that our ultrasound tech was very good at looking at everything. She counted all chambers of the heart, saw the stomach, bladder, saw no cleft lip.. counted toes, fingers. She was very thorough. I guess I'm just doing the nervous first time mom thing.

One of my oldest friends told me that when I see Brady for the first time it will feel like I've always known what he looked like. She said that when she saw her baby girl for the first time, she felt that she had always known her and always loved her. It's amazing how that works. How can you go from complete strangers to feeling like you've connected your whole life? I guess that is how soul mates work. Our child will be our soul mate.

Poor Brady. If things go as I think they do, he chose to have us as parents. Poor boy, he really has no idea what he got himself into when he picked us. We're gonna be those parents who embarrass the crap out of their kid just cuz it's so darn funny! He will be loved, no doubt, but he sure is in for it!

Beware the Impending Waddle

Long ago were the days when I could simply suck in my gut to feel skinnier. Long ago were the days when I could look down and see my butterfly tattoo under my belly button. I remember the days when I could easily bend down to shave my legs. It seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant. That was in July of last year. Now it's a new year and the second month in... I feel like I've been pregnant for three years.

Just a month ago, I was saying that I don't mind being pregnant. I actually like it. I like the feeling of growing a baby, the shape of my bulging belly, and the attention that being "fruitful" brings. Now, with less than 8 weeks to go, I'm ready to stop feeling so mid-section heavy. I swear my belly leads the way. I've already warned people of the impending doom of my waddle. I'm trying so hard not to walk like a Weeble, but it's getting more and more difficult.

Doctor says I've only gained 28 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy. I think she's just being nice. She knows the stress I've been under. I kind of wish I had never heard how low my number is, because now I think I subconsciously feel I now have a license to eat. I've been so good for so long... why not get some McDonald's fries?? So what if my butterfly tattoo looks more and more like a great Bald Eagle?? But I must stop myself. I've been blessed with no stretchmarks yet, I want to try to keep it that way.

It still feels so surreal that I'm actually carrying a baby. Some days I feel so average. I forget I'm carrying a baby... Not long enough to order a margarita, but long enough where I think, "dang, man, how much longer?"

We didn't do any birthing classes to get ready for this birth. It was going to cost $40 each to go, and quite frankly, with this economy, that was money we did not have. We've been watching "Baby Story" on TLC to get our knowledge up to speed. Yup, that's a scary show. Just like driving by a horrible car accident. It's so grotesque, but you can't help to rubberneck and look back at it anyway. This show has taught me that birth plans are useless: You never get what you want. Laboring women are handled like birthing cows. Doctors come in the room, barely say hello, shove their hand up the woman's hoo-ha, say how many centimeters, then leave. I just learned that a centimeter is about the width of a tip of a finger. I hope my doctor will have small fingers because I won't start giving birth until 10cm. Holy crap.

"Baby Story" has taught me that a lot of women try so hard to not have any drugs for their birth. I applaud their effort and admire their courage... but it is not for me. Especially when I see most of them "fold" and get the drugs they swore they wouldn't touch. I think that the drugs are here for a reason. I know people gave birth for thousands of years without drugs in our history. They've also had their teeth pulled without Novocaine. You won't catch me trying any of that. At least not this time. There are no extra gold stars in heaven for going through unnecessary pain.

I still can't believe that I'm going to have to give birth. I know that sounds kind of immature and juvenile, but I'm really in denial. I hope we can kinda skip the whole process and just put the baby in my arms. The big day is coming up so fast. I have no idea how to prepare. I'm not prepared. I think that even if we get our overnight bag ready, I have my focal point picked out, the due date is here, I will still be clueless what to do. I just hope that the doctors and nurses can direct me. I'm going to be like a deer caught in the headlights.

I hope to keep the birth lighthearted and try my best not to let any pain get the best of me. But that's a first-time mom with hopes that are highly unlikely. In then end, my birth plan consists of birthing a healthy baby. I don't care how it happens. As long as Brady is placed in my arms and I am doing okay, I don't care at all, how he is born. Until the day he is born, I will just sit here, in denial. Pretend that I just have to take a nap, they get the baby for me, I wake up, and my body is back to being just mine. That would be a nice dream...

Pacifier Story & More

Tonight is our hospital tour! I am so excited!! I just called the hospital to confirm that they had both of our names on the list. We are set to go! It will start tonight at 7:15PM and go for about an hour. I'm pretty thrilled and I'm sure I'm annoying Kyle with text messages asking, "are you so excited for tonight???". Of course, he is a nice husband and says he is excited too.

I guess I am pretty thrilled to go on this tour because it will ease my mind. I will learn about the workings of the hospital and will feel less fear because at least I have seen the place. The whole experience won't be as frightening. I have a watermelon to push out of my body, I need as little stress and worry as possible!

I have been telling anyone who will listen about our upcoming milestone in my pregnancy. This tour means that this is really going to happen.. Duh, we knew that. But it's really going to happen, and within three months! I can't believe it. Part of me can't even remember what it must be like to not be pregnant. I can't even really remember being able to drink a beer or not worry about if my clothes will fit right. On the other hand, I feel like I have hardly been pregnant at all. This is going so fast! Oh, the complexities...

So, after telling my third person about my tour tonight, I got the "Pacifier Story".

You can tell first-time parents from second and third timers with a pacifier and how they handle it. A first time parent will boil it, boil everything, sterilize everything. If the pacifier falls out of the baby's mouth, it will be placed in a baggy and boiled first thing when they get home. A second child will get the "hot tap water treatment" on the pacifier and that is about it. The third child will get a quick pacifier swipe on the pants or the parent will put it in their mouth first, then it's back in the kid's mouth! It really is no wonder that the third child will probably have a healthier immune system than the first child. He actually had time to develop some defenses!!

I've been getting little tid bits and stories the bigger my belly gets. It's pretty fun, actually. I get sweet smiles at the mall and I get "are you okay in those shoes" questions a lot at work. It's really sweet. I got the pointer that after delivering my baby, I should stay at the hospital as long as my insurance will allow. I believe most allow 2 days for vaginal delivery and 3 for c-section. Moms recommend that I take advantage of having nurses and aids to help out with the newborn. I was told that most likely, we will want to hurry home and start our lives together. We will say we don't need any help. But then I was reminded that we will have the child in our home for 18 more years.... at least... and to take the help while we can. Heaven knows when the second child comes, there will be slightly fewer offers of help. Take it. So I might heed the advice... and watch myself and how I handle the pacifier!

Info on the Mucus Plug (warning, gross pic!)

Found this information online and wanted to post it for informational purposes... Beware, it's a bit explicit:


"Throughout pregnancy, a mucus plug blocks the opening of the cervix to prevent bacteria from entering the uterus. Before labor, this mucus plug is expelled so that the cervix can open to allow the baby to pass through during labor and birth.

How soon after my mucus plug passes will labor begin?
Passing a mucus plug is a sign that your cervix is dilating and your body is starting to prepare for birth. Labor could be hours, days, or even weeks away as the cervix gradually opens over time.

What does a mucus plug look like?
A mucus plug may be clear, slightly pink or blood tinged in color. It may be stringy mucus or sticky discharge. Some women may not even notice the loss of their mucus plug because there is already an increase in vaginal discharge during pregnancy.

When should I call my health care provider?
If the mucus seems normal in color, there is no need to contact your health care provider immediately. You may just want to let them know at your next visit.
You should call your health care provider immediately if your discharge suddenly becomes bright red and the amount is more than an ounce (about two tablespoons). You could be experiencing a complication such as placenta previa or placental abruption. "