Delusional and Pregnant, God Help Us

Just when I think that I finally have it all figured out.. I find out that I really have no clue what the heck I am doing. I find myself frazzled a lot lately. Maybe it is because I want things to be ready. Maybe I am nesting. Maybe I'm just being a worrywart. Who knows. Maybe it's because I really want things to be easygoing and simple. I want answers and I want them now.

I want to know that our delivery will be paid for and that we won't have to mortgage our arms and legs to pay for it. I want to know that our boy will be healthy and safe. I want to know that after he is born we will have all of our child care options weighed and figured out. I want to know that there is a plan and that it will all go as we hope. I want it all. I'm preggers, hear me whine!

Life really stresses me out to no end lately. I try so hard to just push it all to the back of my mind. I guess that stress comes with the territory of bringing a new life to the world. Becoming a mom doesn't start at birth.. it starts at conception. Most of the time I am pretty laid back and Kyle is really good about not letting things weigh him down too much. That helps me to not worry quite so much. He helps me to laugh and we do try to do our best to stay on the light side of things. To not let our stresses get the best of us. It's working well so far. I think that Brady is going to have some pretty stellar parents... if I do say so myself. It is my blog, after all.

On a more pleasant note, we have our first hospital tour tomorrow night. I'm pretty excited to go. I have been picking the minds of knowledgeable new moms about what to expect from this never ending process of paperwork and appointments. The hospital tour will show us where we can park in the middle of the night if we have to. We will be shown where to get admitted, where the nursery is. I'm excited because this makes everything seem even more real. It also freaks me the heck out. This means this is REALLY happening. This kicking boy in my belly will be out soon! Three more months!! I can't believe it.

I'm on the downward side of the pregnancy slope now. I really wish I was unconventionally wealthy. This way, I can just sit at home and daydream about our baby. Eat all the chocolate I want to and watch baby shows on TLC. I will be so calm and collected. But that would make for a very boring pregnancy. What is there to learn in life if it all goes "as planned" or if everything is easy. I suppose this is all to help us to grow. We will figure things out and when we look back, we will think how easy it all was and what the heck were we so worried about? Yeah, I'm delusional...

Goodness Gracious Gestational Diabetes

I had to test for gestational diabetes on Friday. It was an hour test and I got 155 and it should have been 139. So now I have to take a three hour test and fast prior to it starting at midnight the night before. Yuck. I hope I don't have gestational diabetes but I did hear that it is common in pregnancies and that it goes away after the birth.

The baby has a heartrate of 144 bpm which is right in the middle of the range he should be in :) I'm growing as I should, blood pressure is low, and my iron is good. Which is all good.

I had a bit of orange juice with my breakfast before my appointment and wondered if maybe I caused my blood sugar to be higher because of it. I was not told to fast, only to avoid foods with added sugar. I suppose that orange juice might be considered an added sugar drink. So I asked my sister, who has been living with diabetes since childhood, about it. This is what she had to say:

Gestational diabetes is really common and it does go away after pregnancy- typically within a couple of months. If you are positive for it, your baby will be plumper than average, but nothing really bad happens with it.

Since you have type 1 in your family, you have a tendency to contract some type of diabetes in your lifetime. If you are positive for gestational diabetes, you will most likely get type 2 in late adulthood.

Good news: 139 vs 155 is NOT REALLY THAT BIG A DEAL. i'd be concerned if you were in the 200s. I can test my blood at 5:50 and get 120, but test it at 5:51 and get 132 from the same finger and the same blood sample. Blood meters are usually about 20 mgl off at a time. Which is scary, but true.

I wouldn't worry so much. I would def get tested again- just to make sure nothing happens with your baby- but I wouldn't worry too much about it.

oh, and yes, OJ will do it. It is the highest sugar content in all the juices (natural sugar counts too). take a look at the carbs and the sugars underneath!

However, a normal human will digest all consumption within 2 hours. 2 hours after you eat, you should have a glucose around 100 or less.

So after her pointers I was relieved. I am still anxious about how I am going to survive a three hour test... Will I die from pure boredom? I was told you should try to eat every few hours to help your baby thrive. How are they going to make me go from midnight the night before without eating, and then drink a nasty sugary drink, and not have any food for three hours? This just seems like cruel and unusual punishment!!

Sixteen Weeks and Counting

Wow... I can not believe that I'm 24 weeks now. Our baby boy is due in 16 weeks. That's just four measly months! I am not ready for him to come any earlier than that, that is for sure! Everyday I feel him kick more and more. I can feel him doing jumping jacks and splits and whatever acrobatics a 6 month old fetus can think to do. It's really amazing and I'm never tired of waiting to feel his next move. His punches and kicks are stronger. I can feel him swirling when he rolls over. I find my baby very fascinating.. which I'm sure just makes me a regular mom.

I can't believe our boy will be here in four tiny months. I just can't believe it. I feel like I've already been pregnant forEVER, but at the same time, not long enough yet. I can't be more than half way through already??? I was starting to get nervous from tales of early babies lately, so I decided to look at the women in my family to see if I can get some reassurance that he will not be a super-early bird.

First, I thought of my own mom. But then I reminded myself that because I was her first born and was breech, she had to schedule Cesarean Sections for all of her babies. I guess more than twenty years ago, doctors figured it was easier to just repeat C Sections for following children than to risk complications with vaginal birth. Yeah, it's because I wanted to sit on my butt in the womb that I have no birthing reference from my mom.

So then I asked my Cuz (Grams) how her births went. Uncle Mike was two weeks late, my mom was a week early (the last time she will ever be early for something), and Uncles Stan and Dan were just about on time. That is reassuring. I feel that if delivery times can be planned from history, I have a safe shot at seeing our son when he's due. Cuz even made the prediction that he would be late. So we'll see.

I have heard that first babies are sometimes late babies. I'm not going to wish myself extra pain or uncomfort, I just want to know he will wait his full 40 weeks then come on time. I need all the time I can get to get ready for him. Cuz says that when he is born it will feel like he was never not here before. It will be so sweet. I will fall in love with him for sure. Not that I'm not already in love with him.

He's my active bugger and I love my private moments with him. When somene is boring me with some story they think I want to hear, I can just smile and know that my little boy is swirling around. He's having a great time listening to sounds and exploring his surroundings. I can smile knowing I know this inside. It's the magic of pregnancy. I can't believe I only have 16 more weeks left to feel this.

Yeah, at this rate, I can totally understand why there are crazy families out there who can't stop themselves from having more and more babies. Especially if they can afford them. 17 kids and counting. Yeah, I can understand them...

Braxton Hicks and Stretchmarks

This morning I woke up to some very uncomfortable pulling at the top of my uterus. It felt like tightening and clenching. Right now, the top of the uterus is almost 2 inches above my belly button. My last check up on Friday of last week shows that it is measuring at 24 weeks. That is good, cuz our son is supposedly 23 weeks this weekend. I felt very icky with those feelings this morning and considered staying home in bed. But the feeling passed and luckily nothing further followed those feelings. I thought maybe it was "practice contractions" called Braxton Hicks, but maybe I am wrong. According to some sites, I should feel that lower in my abdomen. The feeling I had was a clenching tightness at the top of the uterus. So maybe that was just the baby respositioning itself or my body making more room for this 11 inch one pounder. I have been noticing that my belly has been feeling tight and sometimes painful to the touch above my belly button. Probably more growing pains.

"Braxton Hicks contractions are sporadic uterine contractions that start about 6 weeks into your pregnancy, although you won't be able to feel them that early. You probably won't start to notice them until sometime after mid-pregnancy, if you notice them at all. (Some women don't.) They get their name from John Braxton Hicks, an English doctor who first described them in 1872."--www.babycenter.com

I am pleased to announce I haven't seen a stretch mark yet. I am really hopeful that this stays consistent because I know that I am capable of receiving them. I have them all around the backs of my thighs from a growth spurt at puberty. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can stay at a steady weight gain to prevent the stretchmarks. But, if I do have to have them, it will be worth it. I won't complain.. too much.

A kick in the gut never felt so good!

It was just barely six o'clock in the morning.

I had to wake up to get ready for work in just a half hour or so. I laid in bed, on my side, as usual, since I've heard it can be dangerous to sleep on my back and have avoided it as much as humanly possible (and boy, do my hips ache at night!!). Suddenly, I started to feel a rumbling in my stomach. Unlike any rumbling I've felt before. I was sure it was gonna produce the loudest trumpet fart ever recorded in any Guiness Book. I was happy I would have payback for Hub's "Bear Song" that kept me awake again last night.

Then, nothing happened. I felt the rumbling again. Like a wave of bubbles swirling around (picture the surf on the sand by the ocean). I was sure this was gonna produce something satisfying by way of major noise. Nope. Nothing. I put my hand on the lower side of my stomach and pressed. The rolling bubbles happened again.. Then I felt it: a ***THUMP*** on my hand. An actual ***THUMP***. I have been feeling the baby move internally for a while now. Feels more like someone is grasping around on my organs. I hadn't felt anything externally til this morning!! I was so excited!! I just couldn't believe it was actually happening!! Almost 21 weeks and it's really happening! This little boy is really real!! I've known he is real, it just hasn't really sunk in. I've just been getting a belly... and lots beer can do the same thing.

So I pushed and prodded on my belly to get the baby to move again. It was intoxicating! Usually when I poke and prod nothing happens. Now I can feel him respond to my hand!! It's so wonderful!! It's just so amazing to me that just a few hours earlier last night I could feel nothing. Then just overnight, I wake up, and there is a human in my belly that can kick and punch and swirl! And I can actually feel him!!

I delayed going to wake up Hubs to have him feel it, cuz I was afraid if I moved from my spot that baby would stop moving. So I soaked it up for a good thirty minutes and decided it would be fair to share. But of course, baby was done with his aerobics for the morning. Oh well, maybe next time.

What the heck is that?

After a fitful night's toss and turn on the futon (Hubs likes to snore and I can't sleep during his "Bear song"), I woke up to find that my belly button has grown a little head. Not a pretty little baby head (if it existed)... a Pimple-like head. Gross. I am 20 weeks pregnant now and had a piercing in my belly button for ten years. I did remove the piercing months ago, so I am beyond shocked at what I have discovered. It's not pretty.

I blame a lot of strange things happening to my body on pregnancy. This is going to be my first baby. I am really excited about creating a life. It's thrilling to me. I'm actually okay with getting bigger. I am okay with stretch marks and swollen feet--I know it's for a good cause.

Here is my list of things I am NOT okay with:

Pimples on my face in places I haven't seen since puberty: cheek, chin, nose, in my nose, forehead (I thought your skin was supposed to glow during pregnancy, not radiate like Rudolph's nose!)

Flaking chin skin--> I feel more like a snake shedding a layer and it doesn't quit. No amount of moisturizer seems to help.. just makes me break out with a layer of peeling on top of it.

Constipation--> no amount of fiber seems to make this less of an irritant! I already told Hubs that when I deliver and the fabled "poop on the table" comes, I will shout with joy! I will be so happy and proud.. Not embarrassed. Ten months of nothing will be so relieving, even if it is accidental!

Peeing... all of the time... even when it's been a while since I've had something to drink. I can manage to pee at the drop of a hat. It seems to be my new favorite pastime! That gets really annoying.

Blurring vision and red eyes. Now when I'm stumbling into things like a blind lady, I also get to look like I've wept for days on end. Seems Visine can't even fix this issue. Looks like the contacts will be rested and I will have to get used to my glasses. Peripheral vision will be forfeited so I can see straight ahead again.

Oh, and how can I forget this pimple thing on top of my belly button??? I already cleaned out the button area (it's amazing how much lint can accumulate in there if you forget about it). I'm actually a pretty clean person, belly buttons just get neglected I think. But this thing that has developed? I'm really not okay with that. Will have to get some Bactine today after work. See if I can tackle this icky issue.

There are probably a hundred other things I could think of that I am NOT okay with.. Give me time. I've still got 4 1/2 more months to learn them as I go!!

Now don't get me wrong. I would have a face full of pimples and belly button heads the size of apples if it means that I get to see my baby boy. He's going to be my light and shining star. I just know I will love him more than anything else in my life. This I am certain. So for that reason I am merely complaining to complain.

Cuz I'm pregnant and what-eva, I do what I want!

My baby, not yours, and I'm NOT sharing

This is a blog I posted a few weeks back. Wanted to share:

This is my first baby, not your second chance

So far, I have noticed a plethora of rather annoying traits that come out from people when I they learn that I am pregnant. It seems that my growing belly gives people the impression that all manners are out of the window…

I barely have a belly yet, and you have an urge to touch it? For what, the extra five to ten pounds that have accumulated in four and half months? There's no baby kicking yet, you won't feel anything. You never touched me before I was pregnant, how is it okay to do now?

Leave me alone about my caffeine consumption. I have read in MANY books and forums that a safe amount of caffeine is anywhere from 150 mg to 300 mg. If I have ONE Diet Pepsi, I am not harming my baby. It has 35 mg of caffeine in it! By the lower range of safe, I could technically have almost five cans of the stuff!! Back off! It's not like I'm downing a Bud Light.

To breastfeed or not to breastfeed: This is my personal decision. I will learn as much as I can about both options and choose the one that works best for me and my family. This is not time to judge me for not choosing the "right" way to do things. What works for you works for you. I will find out what works best for me.

I want to find out the gender of my baby. Please don't look at me like I grew two heads. You can do what you wish when you are pregnant with your own baby. Please don't say I'm losing my chance at one of God's only real surprises. Wasn't a positive pee test a surprise enough? It's not like I'm choosing the gender. I'm just peeking at what God already gave me.

Okay, enough venting for now… Thank you kindly.