Beware the Impending Waddle

Long ago were the days when I could simply suck in my gut to feel skinnier. Long ago were the days when I could look down and see my butterfly tattoo under my belly button. I remember the days when I could easily bend down to shave my legs. It seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant. That was in July of last year. Now it's a new year and the second month in... I feel like I've been pregnant for three years.

Just a month ago, I was saying that I don't mind being pregnant. I actually like it. I like the feeling of growing a baby, the shape of my bulging belly, and the attention that being "fruitful" brings. Now, with less than 8 weeks to go, I'm ready to stop feeling so mid-section heavy. I swear my belly leads the way. I've already warned people of the impending doom of my waddle. I'm trying so hard not to walk like a Weeble, but it's getting more and more difficult.

Doctor says I've only gained 28 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy. I think she's just being nice. She knows the stress I've been under. I kind of wish I had never heard how low my number is, because now I think I subconsciously feel I now have a license to eat. I've been so good for so long... why not get some McDonald's fries?? So what if my butterfly tattoo looks more and more like a great Bald Eagle?? But I must stop myself. I've been blessed with no stretchmarks yet, I want to try to keep it that way.

It still feels so surreal that I'm actually carrying a baby. Some days I feel so average. I forget I'm carrying a baby... Not long enough to order a margarita, but long enough where I think, "dang, man, how much longer?"

We didn't do any birthing classes to get ready for this birth. It was going to cost $40 each to go, and quite frankly, with this economy, that was money we did not have. We've been watching "Baby Story" on TLC to get our knowledge up to speed. Yup, that's a scary show. Just like driving by a horrible car accident. It's so grotesque, but you can't help to rubberneck and look back at it anyway. This show has taught me that birth plans are useless: You never get what you want. Laboring women are handled like birthing cows. Doctors come in the room, barely say hello, shove their hand up the woman's hoo-ha, say how many centimeters, then leave. I just learned that a centimeter is about the width of a tip of a finger. I hope my doctor will have small fingers because I won't start giving birth until 10cm. Holy crap.

"Baby Story" has taught me that a lot of women try so hard to not have any drugs for their birth. I applaud their effort and admire their courage... but it is not for me. Especially when I see most of them "fold" and get the drugs they swore they wouldn't touch. I think that the drugs are here for a reason. I know people gave birth for thousands of years without drugs in our history. They've also had their teeth pulled without Novocaine. You won't catch me trying any of that. At least not this time. There are no extra gold stars in heaven for going through unnecessary pain.

I still can't believe that I'm going to have to give birth. I know that sounds kind of immature and juvenile, but I'm really in denial. I hope we can kinda skip the whole process and just put the baby in my arms. The big day is coming up so fast. I have no idea how to prepare. I'm not prepared. I think that even if we get our overnight bag ready, I have my focal point picked out, the due date is here, I will still be clueless what to do. I just hope that the doctors and nurses can direct me. I'm going to be like a deer caught in the headlights.

I hope to keep the birth lighthearted and try my best not to let any pain get the best of me. But that's a first-time mom with hopes that are highly unlikely. In then end, my birth plan consists of birthing a healthy baby. I don't care how it happens. As long as Brady is placed in my arms and I am doing okay, I don't care at all, how he is born. Until the day he is born, I will just sit here, in denial. Pretend that I just have to take a nap, they get the baby for me, I wake up, and my body is back to being just mine. That would be a nice dream...

Baking a Bowling Ball

Brady is now officially in his third trimester of growing. There are so many different ways to figure out how old he is and what month I'm in, I just kinda do my own thing now. First off, they all say you are pregnant nine months. Sorry, but it's ten months. 40 weeks can't be squeezed into nine months no matter how you try. I have some weekly emails that claimed when I hit 28 weeks that I was still just 6 months along. I know that when I divide 28 by 4 weeks, I get 7 months. So I went with that date. I feel like I've been "running this marathon" now forever. I have the right to "bump" it up when I feel it's necessary. And to have to stay in the six month range is just criminal.

Well, today I got an email that claims I have "officially" arrived into the third trimester. Two thirds done with this! Some days I really feel like this has just begun. Others days, I feel so huge and whale-ish.. and wonder what it was like to not be pregnant. I'm sure most women go through this at one point. I find myself even counting down the days until we meet Brady in terms of weeks. 11 weeks sounds so much sooner than 3 months or 79 days. Then, when I feel overwhelmed with how fast things are going, I make myself feel better and call it three months. I reflect back to how three months ago it was the end of October. That seems like forever ago now.

Apparently we are in the home stretch now. Time to iron out the baby registry and figure out what is still needed and what doesn't need to be on there anymore. Time to figure out work/baby care situations. Time to finish things up. Time to eat to fatten him up. He's still a skinny thing. Wouldn't know it by how hard he can kick, but he's gotta get more meat on him. Kyle and I were both 8 pound babies and we were both a week or so early (I was a C-section, he was naturally early). If we would have both gone full term, I wonder how big we would have been. My brother was a ten pounder. Gosh, I hope Brady isn't a ten pounder.. that's a bowling ball!

Twas the night before the Lotto drawing...

It's Christmas Eve again. Seems like this time of year gets here faster and faster. I hear that's a symptom of getting older. Hopefully time will slow down once our little one is here. I can't wait for the magic that we will see on his face when Santa's been to our home! I can't wait to tell him stories of "Twas the night before Christmas" and get him to bed early so Santa can come to our house sooner! A great way to get a kid to bed early... can it be Christmas all year long for that reason?

One reason I hope for Christmas Eve's good night sleep is from a prime example I got last night. Brady (his tentative name this month) was a kicking fool last night! It was incredible!! He was so active from my dentist appointment at noon all through the rest of the night. I don't know what crawled up his butt!

I have a feeling that he was moving around during my dental cleaning because he could feel my nerves. I always tense up when the hygienist gets to scraping my teeth! Yowch!! But, she did say for a pregnant woman, my gums weren't too bad at all. I guess I have to be particularly careful about my teeth while I'm pregnant. Bacteria grows like nuts during pregnancy. Must spawn the rumor that says you lose a tooth with every pregnancy.

So last night, while laying in bed watching TV, Mr. Brady Baby decided to toss and turn. I have no idea what he was doing and can see why Tom Cruise got his wife an ultrasound machine when she was pregnant (as crazy as he is)... I just want to know what he's doing in there! I can't even tell the difference between a kick and a punch yet! He was showing off, though, I swear! He was showing off for Daddy. Kyle had his hand on my belly and could feel the "wormies" and thumps here and there. He lit up with joy! It's so cute to see the sparkle in his eyes when he feels the baby move! It was sweet, too, when he said he was jealous I can feel this all the time. I'm sure he won't feel that way when baby gets bigger and starts getting crammed under ribs!

Oh, so now that I've expressed our latest name choice is Brady, I should probably explain why. We wanted a name that would be boyish and manly at the same time. We are thinking Brady, as in Tom Brady, not Brady Bunch. Was worried that would come up while he is in school, but kids his age shouldn't have any idea what the Brady Bunch is. So I figure we are safe with that. He'll probably get called Braidy, as in hair braids.. But we will get him toughened up on that. Brady is an Irish name that means "spirited" and "broad chested". I figured with Kyle's genes he will have a broad chest. We still don't have a middle name in stone yet, but I think we will honor Brady's father and have that be his middle name.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say yet, but we found out last night that our boy will have twin GIRL cousins! I'm thrilled!! I think it's wonderful because one of my favorite cousins is a boy. It will be good for Brady to have more females in his life. Keep him balanced. Kyle said his favorite cousins were girls, so this is just wonderful!! I can't wait to meet them!! Since twins average about a 36 to 37 week delivery date, Brady should only be here 5 or 6 weeks before them!! I'm so excited!!

On this Christmas Eve, I have decided to be as cheerful and full of the holiday spirit as possible. I have been blessed with more than I could have ever have imagined by way of gifts and warm blessings from the people in my life. I feel I can never repay the generosity that has been bestowed on my mini family. I feel so loved and blessed and grateful. And for that reason I can feel the Christmas spirit again. I know one day the magic will be back and that I will be able to Pay it Forward. So that is why on our way to Cuz's house tonight, Kyle and I are going to get a $1 Lotto ticket. Hey, it never hurts to try!