Fleeting thoughts

Now, before judgment is passed on me, please remember this is purely hypothetical. I am not a scientist or a theorist. I do not have any facts to back myself up and haven't researched any of the unusual thoughts I have in my head. I just merely want to put them down "on paper" so my son can laugh at me in the future. If that's all that I get out of this, I'm really fine with it. Moms turn from all-knowing, to completely dumb in just 18 years... So I'm prepared.

Some mornings I lay in bed and think about the little boy that is growing in my belly. I know that stresses and anxiety can affect him, so I try my best to avoid situations that would make my heart race. I know that when I laugh, he seems to move more. I know that my disposition can really affect how he will be outside of the womb. Or is that all theory too? Not really sure. This is all really new to me. I'm trying my best to just enjoy the ride. I'm not trying to wish away my pregnancy. I want to enjoy it. I want to be surprised and confused and astonished by the life that is growing inside.

Anyway, this all leads me to wonder if my baby can feel other feelings I may have in the course of a day. For instance, when I have a dream, I can be stressed or happy. Can he feel those emotions? I can't control my subconscious. Last night I dreamed I was waitressing and my section was slammed. I could not keep up with the customers. I was really disheveled and my food was never coming up in the window so I could deliver it. I couldn't get orders right. Can my teeny one pound spermy maker feel that anxiety?

Then I got to thinking about how I, as a future mom, might be preconditioning my baby now, in the womb? I know that being pregnant puts a lot of pressure on my bladder. I do pee a whole lot more than I used to. I try not to drink too many liquids before bedtime to reduce getting up in the middle of the night. Well, I got to thinking about how that might stimulate a baby to wake up more in the middle of the night if I keep getting up to pee. I wonder if that is possible? So now, I find myself stupidly crossing my legs in bed trying to hold it. Probably that strain alone wakes the baby anyway, if he is asleep. So it's not really a win-win situation, is it? Hmmm.

One more really strange thought that I have been having lately that will probably be laughed at when he reads this. I get songs in my head a lot. I like to think of them and replay them a lot. I can hear it perfectly in my mind's ear. I know my baby boy has a brain now. I wonder if he can feel my mental rhythm? I know I am calmer when I think of music in my head. I wonder if it calms him too? Even if I can't actually physically hear it? Can he sense the calm I might have from a particular song in my head? Can he feel a beat?

I know, I should just stop now, while I'm ahead.