Curls Gone Wild

Times have definitely changed in just a year. Little man is officially a fifteen-month old boy. I find myself accidentally telling people he is two. I just can't believe that my giant of a toddler is still considered a baby at his age. He's over three feet tall and over thirty pounds already. We are due for another check up, but with our move across the country, there is still some setting up to do.

Regretfully, we just had his hair cut last week. I find myself missing his adorable long, baby curls. It took me about a month to get used to the idea of cutting Brady's hair. I'd roll down the windows to let the breeze flow in our truck and the poor little guy had his bangs flying in his eyes. I just couldn't punish him for my fears of "losing" my baby. So we found the cutest barbershop for kids and scheduled an appointment. It seemed like the very day he was scheduled to go in, his hair cooperated. This is a typical event for me whenever I plan to do something drastic to my hair. Just seems natural it would be hereditary. Bman just had the curliest, blond-streaked, perfectly tousled hair I wish I had (the remorse is dripping off my words). He looked like a surfer dude.

Reluctantly, I held my resolve and met Kyle to get the deed done. Surprisingly, there were no tears. Not even from me. The barber bagged his locks and attached them to a certificate with a picture for us. I think the souvenir was more for me than for the young client. Sometimes I think he looks like one of the characters from the movie, "Dumb & Dumber", when his bangs form a straight line across his forehead. I guess it's partially my fault because I couldn't commit to crew cut like his dad's. Apparently, a lot of moms have trouble completely going for it with the first cut. I asked for a "longer" short style. When we comb it fresh from the bath it does look great, I have to admit.

It's amazing how the simple act of cutting Brady's luscious baby ringlets would make him look so much older. I try not to, but I find myself expecting more out of him. Strangely enough, he has been doing more. It is probably pure coincidence, but he's saying more words like "Daddy, Monkey, Doggy, Ice". To his own demise, he's climbing the stairs (and tables) with confidence. It's probably the appropriate age to start exploring and become more independent. Just worked out it was perfect timing with the transitional haircut.

Brady does tug on his hair from time-to-time. I wonder if he knows he's different too. I think he wants to grow up and be a "big boy". I'm okay with him growing up. I want him to be a thriving person in society. I just want him to do it at a steadier pace. At his rate, he will be reciting the Declaration of Independence and Pythagorean Theorem by age two. Maybe I will be okay with his accelerated growth if he grows his curls back...

Tired of bedtime

It's been a while, I know. My little man is almost a year old already. Boy, has time gone by in a frenzied hurry. I often repeat how I miss my "little baby". B-man is toddling about and babbling. He has been crawling for a long time now. As far as I can remember, he started around six months old. At about ten and a half months old, he started to take some steps. He's up to five steps in a row before he gets nervous and plops down on his diaper-padded butt.

Our little boy has learned how to point, clap, "gimme five", feed himself, among other skills. I just can't believe how much he has learned in less than a year. I am so proud of my boy.


The latest dilemma we've been facing is bedtime. We have an established routine to read to Brady every night before bed. Because his attention span isn't as long as necessary for detailed books, we keep it simple. He brushes his eight teeth (or we try to brush and he sucks the baby toothpaste off the brush) and then we read "five little monkeys jumping on the bed" every night. Brady tries to babble along with us. I think he knows the words. Since he's practicing to walk, he has learned to explore the world so much that when it's time for bed, regardless of how exhausted he is, he fights it. Luckily we've only had one long crying-spell night. He's been whimpering and whining for a few minutes before going to sleep lately. I'm relieved he doesn't go into his all-out panic attack mode like he did a few night ago. I've never been a fan of crying it out and felt really bad about leaving him in his room. It's just not like him to cry like that at bed time. He usually opens his mouth for his pacifier, grabs his blankey friend and goes right to sleep. I think he's learned to protest. Hopefully this transitional period into toddlerhood phases out quickly.

I Need a Shot to Handle his Shots

My little boy had his six month check up today. I usually love to bring him to the pediatrician's office because I get to really show him off. This is the only place where they ask a million questions about my son and I get to gladly tell them all they want to know. "Does he roll from front to back? Can he sit up by himself? Does he giggle and coo? Is he on solids?" I love how in-depth the doctors and nurses are and how much they want to know about B-Man.

Brady is such a ham when it comes to pretty girls. He really can't help himself from showing off his two pearly white bottom teeth. The nurses and female staff get a dose of dimples whenever he makes eye contact. It's the male doctors that make him nervous. That is probably a result of being around me and my non-manly voice 24/7. I actually have finally moved out of his room at night, so I'm no longer with him 24 hours a day. That's a relief.

So the doctor visit went pretty well. He's 30 inches long, 20 pounds, 13 ounces. His head measures 18 inches around. Overall, for a six-month-old baby he's large and in charge. There were no major concerns. Brady's biggest concern was the five shots he had to have today. He received all of his required vaccinations and the flu shot. We will be traveling with him in a plane next month, so I figured it was better safe than sorry. He will get his follow up shot the day before we fly away.

Shots-time is the most difficult for me, and I am pretty sure most moms would agree. I find myself feeling so awkward. I don't know where to put myself. I want him to know I am there for him, but at the same time, I don't want him to think that I am hurting him. I find myself petting his belly and "oohing" and "aahing" at him to distract him. The first vaccination he received was a sugary-sweet drink. I'm not really even sure what it protects him against, but he's had it since his very first check up. He seemed relieved while he drank the liquid. The relief was short-lived. Once the nurse inserts the first shot and quickly moves on to her second and third, he's a ball of tears. I feel so bad for him. Today I actually witnessed some blood spill out from one of his shots. I almost cried. My poor baby. I always have to remind myself that it's better that he feels a moment of pain than a lengthy amount of time being sick.

Luckily, I thought ahead this time and dressed him before his shots. The last time we were at the office for his four month check up, I dressed him afterward. He was so upset, I couldn't get him to stop screaming, so he remained upset the rest of the afternoon. When the nurse was finally finished with his vaccinations, I scooped up my little man and held him close. I am so relieved he stopped crying shortly thereafter. He's napping now. He's probably exhausted from the amount of stress he was in this afternoon. My big, sweet baby boy.

How Diabetes Affects Me

I do not have diabetes. I do not know the sting of a needle to keep my blood sugars level. I do not know the stigma of growing up learning how to become a woman and how to deal with a difficult disease. Diabetes does not have a direct impact on my life.


Although diabetes has no control over me, physically, I do feel the tugs at my heart emotionally. My sister has T1D. She has had this disease since she was fourteen years old. I was about to graduate high school when she found out. I remember we used to go school shopping for clothes and the time she tried on a size zero pair of shorts and even those were too big for her. I felt, that at the time, I was a pretty fit person and my clothing was comfortable at a size four. To see my sister waste away with no real cause was really troublesome. She used to carry around a jug of water with her everywhere she went. She was always thirsty, still eating, and getting skinnier by the week.


I was partly relieved when my parents found out she was diabetic. Some might think that as a sibling I might have been jealous of her small size... as teenage girls do tend to compare their bodies... but I wasn't. I truly worried she was getting too thin, too fast, and obviously still eating regularly. It was a relief to know that she wasn't going to die by starvation and that T1D could be dealt with.


It took my sister a while to get used to the medications. The levels were always off. Her meters wouldn't always be correct. She would have some emotional difficulties, as a young teenager, that would throw her levels out of whack. Life is tremendously challenging for any adolescent. Add in the fact that if she doesn't get her blood levels under control, she could go into a coma or die. That must've been a very frightening thought.


I have to admit I don't know as much about T1D as I should. I have just recently learned how to really communicate with my sister. Eleven years later, after her initial diagnosis, and we can finally find a reason to relate. She doesn't seem to see me as the "unaffected one who doesn't understand" anymore. I'm learning to realize that while she may put off the sense that she's got diabetes under control, that she really does need support. She needs to know I worry about her. I want to know how her doctor appointments go and if things are improving. I want to know more about T1D. I feel, as her sister, I do owe that to her.


I strive to continue in my journey to show my sister my support and love for her. I don't want to always talk about her disease because that is not all she is. She is a loving, sweet, thoughtful, beautiful person inside and out. I would rather talk about those things, but sometimes we do need to speak of the major part of her life, T1D. It is no longer a skeleton in our closet. It's a part of both of our lives because diabetes does affect me.

http://www.fightingtheunseen.com
http://tudiabetes.com

Feeling the Empty-Nest Inside

This weekend was a little sad for me. Kyle and I had been debating on moving Brady to his own crib in his bedroom for a while now. We could tell he was getting a bit cramped in the bassinet and needed to have space to move about at night. His every stir woke me, and I'm fairly certain that my rumblings in the night woke him, as well. He's officially been sleeping in his room for a little over a week. I knew I had to move him, even though it really pained me. He slept so good in his bassinet by my side. My baby is graduating and officially moved out of his newborn bed.

You would think I should be excited about this important milestone. This means more sleep in my own quiet room and no more midnight feedings. Even my sister-in-law with twins, who are a month younger than Brady, have moved into their own room. I guess I am still clinging to the feeling of being needed. If my first son doesn't need me in the middle of the night, what do I do? I suppose I could just sleep.

I started to notice that he was waking again in the middle of the night for comfort, or just from confusion. From the beginning, we used his crib as his "naptime" bed, and the bassinet was his nighttime bed. I think he thinks every hour or so he should get up, so I'm there with his pacifier to soothe him back to sleep right away. I think that maybe the transition to a full night in his nap-bed will take a bit of adjustment. Or, maybe I'm the one who really needs to adjust to this situation.

So, in accordance to the official move to his own bedroom, I undressed his bassinet and put it in the garage for storage. I bundled up his tiny little mattress and tied it in a garbage bag. I also moved out his newborn swing and packed away the clothing that no longer fits him. I just can't seem to get over the fact that there are outfits that he never really even got to wear. I think he skipped the 3/6 month size altogether.

Kyle and I decided that our ever-maturing baby boy might need to start on having some solids. I consulted with fellow mommy friends and the consensus seems to be that we can start trying rice cereal slowly about this age. Brady is seventeen weeks old now and a "supported sitter". He receives food from a spoon and actually swallows most of it.

The only thing that stinks about our gradual transition to solids is the fact that he doesn't "stink" as much. I think that iron-fortified cereal might be stopping-up my boy. I've heard recommendations that I try to feed him pear juice. I also read that we should make his food soupier, and to try to feed him after a full formula feeding. The full-feeding makes no sense to me because when he's full, why would he want to eat anymore food? Now, I'm starting to read more things that say that he should be at least six months old. Regardless of the statistics, my gut says he's ready to try some solids. I'm sure that at our next pediatrician check-up, later this week, the doctor will state otherwise. I read this quote from a blog online that said, "I'd heard a rumor that the age to start solids has changed AGAIN - can anyone confirm? It was 4 months in 2001 and 6 months in 2004. I'd heard that it was now 4.5 months - is that true or just maliciousness of health care professionals trying to keep us in doubt about our ability to parent (OK a bit tongue in cheek there - but it is CRAZY :eek: - the babies haven't changed, just the advice)". I think I might be able to agree with that statement. Either way, we gave Brady a bit of a break on his solids and he has been "successful" once again.

There have been quite a few changes in our household. Little Brady probably has no idea what is really going on around him. He doesn't cry as much when he's hungry. I believe he knows we will feed him and he is not as stressed about eating as he used to be. He actually will cuddle when Kyle holds him now. He's learned to grip us when we carry him. Our little man has found his squeaky voice and practices gleefully screaming and playing with consonants. He seems to adjust with schedule changes pretty well and is more mature when it comes to family outings. I feel that he trusts we will take care of him, and we, as parents, are learning to trust our abilities. While I am glad that Brady is a healthy boy, I can see how parents get an "empty-nest syndrome" when their kids go off to college. I know I can't really compare moving from his bassinet to his crib to a teenager going off to college, but a move across the house will undoubtedly take a bit of adjustment--for me.

Learning to Live by the Boy Scouts Motto

Whoever said that a new baby will bring nothing but pure joy and sunshine to a relationship was obviously delusional. I'm not saying that I don't love my child or that I don't enjoy the new life in my family; I do. I cherish the ground he has yet to learn to walk on. What I'm saying is that no one ever really explains how trying a new baby can be on a young couple... especially with the very first child.

Before the birth of our first child we were both number one in each other’s eyes. Now that number one is the bouncing baby boy that we prayed so hard to have. This is not a complaint, I'm merely just stating that there is a huge adjustment. First, being the mom, I sacrificed so much sleep. I've learned to function on just three hours of consecutive sleep in the very beginning. Luckily, that short-stint of sleeplessness only lasted about three months. Now, I'm very spoiled and can sleep for seven to eight hours like every other normal human being on the earth. I can't very well say that Dad has felt the sacrifice as I had in the sleep department, but he also went to work every day while I stayed home. It's something we had to do just to make sure money kept coming into our home.

Speaking of money, no one tells you that it gets so tight. Well, it's said in passing, but I never really grasped how things would be when we went from two decent incomes to just one. We did not want to put a newborn in daycare and worked hard to find a way for me to stay at home with Brady. Groceries are still paid for and the bills are on time, but there is not much for discretionary spending that we had become accustomed to having our first five years of marriage. We have been perpetually cash-strapped for three months straight now. We did save some money for any unforeseen hard times we might come upon before Brady was born... and we are officially starting to tap into that savings. I guess it's good we were prepared. It's also such a good thing that I was offered a great job to work part time and bring the baby to work with me. That should help to really supplement our income. I'm truly grateful for that opportunity and look forward to starting that job soon.

The new definitions of roles are very fuzzy in the very beginning. Not only was I sleep deprived, I felt a little out of sorts. I had no real idea what my role should be. I felt guilty using the TV and having the computer on at the same time. It's a bit irrational, but I felt that if I used too much electricity then I was not helping out our household. I felt like I had to do the dishes, the laundry, and clean, then cook dinner, take care of the dog. All of this on top of being on Brady's beck-and-call. It was a very awkward time for me. I had been working since I was fifteen. It took a little while, but now I'm pretty used to being at home and realize my main job is to be here for my growing baby. All the rest of the chores come secondary. Going back to work part time will really help me to feel like I'm contributing to our household. Being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) has its glamorous connotations, but without friends who are in the same situation, it can seem very lonely. I know, cry a river.

One of the changing parts of having a new family is the fact that every morning the baby gets a warm smile and a kiss first. Kyle says hello to Brady when he gets home from a long day of work before he acknowledges me. Sometimes I think even our dog, Monkey, gets a greeting first. I know that I am not the best at welcoming Kyle home, especially if I just got the baby down for a nap. Our son has swiftly become the center of our world. I know that Monkey feels the pinch in his attention-getting as well. No finger pointing here, just realizing that our child brings so much joy, we will do anything to receive a toothless grin.

Sometimes it feels like having a new baby creates difficulties in doing things we want to do. It's not that we necessarily miss going out on the town and partying like it's 1999, but just everyday things can turn into major events. We really have to plan to do anything with a baby. He needs a nap every two hours, at least, and it's difficult to plan around those naps right now. Anyone who claims that life with a new baby is easy, and that they have to follow the parents' schedules, must not have had a baby in the past year, or are superhuman. I try my best to do things with Brady and try to be as prepared as possible. I've come to realize when push comes to shove, a tired baby needs a nap when he needs it, and there is nothing you can do to console him in public. I guess that just comes with parenthood.

I felt compelled to acknowledge the changes in our lives because I never really seem to hear from fellow moms about how the family dynamics evolve after a baby is born. Mom and Dad each need to be acknowledged for more than just being the breadwinner and the homemaker. I think it's important to remember that even though we love our babies, sometimes to a point of pure narcissism, we need to remember that it took two people to make the new family. As my sister quoted to me, "In love, both parties need to give at least 70% of themselves. If both are giving 70%, both are putting the other first, and both are getting their fair share of 100% attention". All we can do is try to do better every day. Babies truly bring bliss and happiness to a home. Everything is new and fascinating with a newborn. Sometimes we just need a knock on the head to remember that a baby can adjust to different environments with practice. Life as we knew it doesn't have to end, just move forward. I guess a little more planning ahead really never hurt anyone anyway.

"Be prepared for life - to live happily and without regret, knowing that you have done your best. That's what the Scout motto means."

The Fit's Gonna Hit the Shan

Tiny's hair is finally starting to grow back in. He had a full head of hair when he was born (the heartburn during pregnancy paid off), but it all fell out after just a couple of weeks. It's still got the charm of "old man" hair in the back and reminds me of Frank from the TV show "Everybody Loves Raymond". Part of me wants to just shave off the bottom part of his baldness, but realize I shouldn't. It will grow back... and it is... slowly...

His eyebrows are starting to darken and his eyes are changing, slightly, to a more brown/hazel appearance. Our hopes for a blue-eyed baby boy are fading with each day. Neither Kyle nor I have blue eyes, we just thought maybe our family genes would skip us and give him the dazzling sparklers. Oh well, he's just as cute with darker eyes.

Our little man is teetering on the brink of learning how to laugh. He smiles broadly at us and does a "huh-uh" sound. It's high-pitched and sounds like the start of a giggle. He just hasn't learned the follow-through. I am so excited at the prospect of his learning this wonderful baby skill. Baby giggles are the best! I tickle him at every chance I can, in hopes that he will bust an adorable gut.

He's rocking and trying to roll now, too. We will lay him on his back and he will rock himself from side to side. Tiny's little body will get most of the way rolled over, but his noggin will hold him back. I suppose it is larger than his body right now, so maybe it's heavy. We try to inspire his developing rolling abilities by placing Tiny on his stomach as often as we can. He is not too fond of the tummy time on the floor and would prefer to do that while laying on top of our stomachs and cooing at us. He just turned 14 weeks this past Friday, so I'm not in too much of a hurry to get him rolling. According to a child development book I skim, only half of babies can roll over by four months. So there is no need to push him, I only encourage.

This past week has been a really great week for Brady's maturation. He met his Uncle Jake for the first time and I was able to leave him with Jake for an hour or so at a time. He did not seem to care if neither of his parents were with him. It is refreshing to know that he is a calm baby even for people outside his immediate circle.

Tiny has recently learned to fall asleep on his own for naps in his crib in his own bedroom. We used to rock him to sleep in his bouncer with a pacifier when he needed a nap. Now, I've officially learned to watch him for signs of being tired. His threshold for alertness is 1 & 1/2 to 2 hours max. He is growing more able to stay awake for the longer stretches and sleeping for shorter spans. This is great for me. He officially seems to know that day is for play and night is for sleep. He can sleep eight hours at a time at night. He gets the bulk of his feedings early in the day and will eat every couple of hours before bedtime. I have learned to lay him down while he is still awake and happy. I notice if he blinks really slow and know that's a first signal of tiredness. If he starts to grab at his ears or ball his fists near his eyes, I know it's time to lay him down. He will usually also let out a little whimper. Especially if it coincides with the two-hour mark. He's been a tremendous sleeper for naps. His fussy time is shorter than ever. He fusses for maybe fifteen minutes a day. He's growing up so fast, I can hardly believe it.

Tiny is officially fitting into six month onesies. He seemed to totally skip over the three month sized clothes and he's only three and a half months old. I never really realized how fast babies really grow. There are some outfits that he never even got to wear. He just grew too fast! If our second baby is a boy, then it will be nice to still have new outfits for him. If the second little one is a girl, then the poor thing will be instant "tomboy", with or without her consent.

Our Brady is an active baby boy, bouncing in his chair and able to hold himself up for more time while he sits. His head is significantly less wobbly and he's so alert and communicative. He loves to "oooouuuuu" and "aaaah" and cough to get our attention. He does "super-fast-baby-kicks" with the help of his daddy and I have a feeling that will induce baby giggles in no time. I can not believe he has been a part of our family now for fourteen weeks. Sometimes it feels like he's been here forever and others it feels like just yesterday he was born. I still can't believe that someday in the future Brady will be on TV waving "Hi MOM", and that will be me. It is really quite an honor to have this role.