How Diabetes Affects Me

I do not have diabetes. I do not know the sting of a needle to keep my blood sugars level. I do not know the stigma of growing up learning how to become a woman and how to deal with a difficult disease. Diabetes does not have a direct impact on my life.


Although diabetes has no control over me, physically, I do feel the tugs at my heart emotionally. My sister has T1D. She has had this disease since she was fourteen years old. I was about to graduate high school when she found out. I remember we used to go school shopping for clothes and the time she tried on a size zero pair of shorts and even those were too big for her. I felt, that at the time, I was a pretty fit person and my clothing was comfortable at a size four. To see my sister waste away with no real cause was really troublesome. She used to carry around a jug of water with her everywhere she went. She was always thirsty, still eating, and getting skinnier by the week.


I was partly relieved when my parents found out she was diabetic. Some might think that as a sibling I might have been jealous of her small size... as teenage girls do tend to compare their bodies... but I wasn't. I truly worried she was getting too thin, too fast, and obviously still eating regularly. It was a relief to know that she wasn't going to die by starvation and that T1D could be dealt with.


It took my sister a while to get used to the medications. The levels were always off. Her meters wouldn't always be correct. She would have some emotional difficulties, as a young teenager, that would throw her levels out of whack. Life is tremendously challenging for any adolescent. Add in the fact that if she doesn't get her blood levels under control, she could go into a coma or die. That must've been a very frightening thought.


I have to admit I don't know as much about T1D as I should. I have just recently learned how to really communicate with my sister. Eleven years later, after her initial diagnosis, and we can finally find a reason to relate. She doesn't seem to see me as the "unaffected one who doesn't understand" anymore. I'm learning to realize that while she may put off the sense that she's got diabetes under control, that she really does need support. She needs to know I worry about her. I want to know how her doctor appointments go and if things are improving. I want to know more about T1D. I feel, as her sister, I do owe that to her.


I strive to continue in my journey to show my sister my support and love for her. I don't want to always talk about her disease because that is not all she is. She is a loving, sweet, thoughtful, beautiful person inside and out. I would rather talk about those things, but sometimes we do need to speak of the major part of her life, T1D. It is no longer a skeleton in our closet. It's a part of both of our lives because diabetes does affect me.

http://www.fightingtheunseen.com
http://tudiabetes.com

Feeling the Empty-Nest Inside

This weekend was a little sad for me. Kyle and I had been debating on moving Brady to his own crib in his bedroom for a while now. We could tell he was getting a bit cramped in the bassinet and needed to have space to move about at night. His every stir woke me, and I'm fairly certain that my rumblings in the night woke him, as well. He's officially been sleeping in his room for a little over a week. I knew I had to move him, even though it really pained me. He slept so good in his bassinet by my side. My baby is graduating and officially moved out of his newborn bed.

You would think I should be excited about this important milestone. This means more sleep in my own quiet room and no more midnight feedings. Even my sister-in-law with twins, who are a month younger than Brady, have moved into their own room. I guess I am still clinging to the feeling of being needed. If my first son doesn't need me in the middle of the night, what do I do? I suppose I could just sleep.

I started to notice that he was waking again in the middle of the night for comfort, or just from confusion. From the beginning, we used his crib as his "naptime" bed, and the bassinet was his nighttime bed. I think he thinks every hour or so he should get up, so I'm there with his pacifier to soothe him back to sleep right away. I think that maybe the transition to a full night in his nap-bed will take a bit of adjustment. Or, maybe I'm the one who really needs to adjust to this situation.

So, in accordance to the official move to his own bedroom, I undressed his bassinet and put it in the garage for storage. I bundled up his tiny little mattress and tied it in a garbage bag. I also moved out his newborn swing and packed away the clothing that no longer fits him. I just can't seem to get over the fact that there are outfits that he never really even got to wear. I think he skipped the 3/6 month size altogether.

Kyle and I decided that our ever-maturing baby boy might need to start on having some solids. I consulted with fellow mommy friends and the consensus seems to be that we can start trying rice cereal slowly about this age. Brady is seventeen weeks old now and a "supported sitter". He receives food from a spoon and actually swallows most of it.

The only thing that stinks about our gradual transition to solids is the fact that he doesn't "stink" as much. I think that iron-fortified cereal might be stopping-up my boy. I've heard recommendations that I try to feed him pear juice. I also read that we should make his food soupier, and to try to feed him after a full formula feeding. The full-feeding makes no sense to me because when he's full, why would he want to eat anymore food? Now, I'm starting to read more things that say that he should be at least six months old. Regardless of the statistics, my gut says he's ready to try some solids. I'm sure that at our next pediatrician check-up, later this week, the doctor will state otherwise. I read this quote from a blog online that said, "I'd heard a rumor that the age to start solids has changed AGAIN - can anyone confirm? It was 4 months in 2001 and 6 months in 2004. I'd heard that it was now 4.5 months - is that true or just maliciousness of health care professionals trying to keep us in doubt about our ability to parent (OK a bit tongue in cheek there - but it is CRAZY :eek: - the babies haven't changed, just the advice)". I think I might be able to agree with that statement. Either way, we gave Brady a bit of a break on his solids and he has been "successful" once again.

There have been quite a few changes in our household. Little Brady probably has no idea what is really going on around him. He doesn't cry as much when he's hungry. I believe he knows we will feed him and he is not as stressed about eating as he used to be. He actually will cuddle when Kyle holds him now. He's learned to grip us when we carry him. Our little man has found his squeaky voice and practices gleefully screaming and playing with consonants. He seems to adjust with schedule changes pretty well and is more mature when it comes to family outings. I feel that he trusts we will take care of him, and we, as parents, are learning to trust our abilities. While I am glad that Brady is a healthy boy, I can see how parents get an "empty-nest syndrome" when their kids go off to college. I know I can't really compare moving from his bassinet to his crib to a teenager going off to college, but a move across the house will undoubtedly take a bit of adjustment--for me.